There are multiple questions that “normies” aka people who aren’t in recovery, have for those of us who are in recovery. Unfortunately for those who are not in recovery it is nearly impossible to understand us. Nevertheless, this doesn’t stop “normies” from wanting to try and understand which is great. The result of this attempt to understand though is we have things like “normie” questions.
Here are the 10 most frequently asked “normie” questions:
1. The number one and most frequently asked “normie” question seems to be something along the lines of, “You can’t drink ever again?” or “You don’t drink at all?” Not drinking at all seems to astound a lot of people.
The answer to this “normie” question is a resounding NO. If we are real alcoholics and drug addicts we cannot ever drink or use drugs successfully and we will never be able to do so, ever, yes we mean forever. Definition of forever meaning until the end of time, therefore we don’t drink at all. Zero. Zilch. Nada. No mind altering substance whatsoever.
2. Not drinking at all usually leads to this next “normie” question which is our number 2 most frequently asked “normie” question- “Well, then what do you for fun if you don’t drink?” this can even turn into “so if you don’t drink, then what do you do?”
We love our “normies”, but they are funny sometimes. Of course we do things!! Lots and lots of things! Our time is precious and we are beyond grateful for it so we pack it full with dreams, goals, hobbies and things we love to do. Very much like anyone else believe it or not. We go to concerts, parties, clubs, art shows, hang out at coffee shops, hit the beach, go to the gym, and attend our meetings etc. The list of what we do includes everything but drinking! There are a lot of things left to do after you scratch drinking off the list.
3. You mentioned meetings. This leads your “normie” friend to ask you the third most frequently asked “normie” question. “Aren’t those meetings like a religious cult?” or if they know anything about meetings they ask a question like, “do you have to go to meetings every day?” or “when can you stop going to meetings?”
The answer to these is simple. No, meetings are not a religious cult and you are welcome to come at any time to check them out-find an open 12 step meeting in your area.
No, we don’t have to go to meetings everyday but we should never stop going to them all together. Part of our program is helping others and we continue to go to meetings to seek out fellow addicts and alcoholics we can help! It’s also a great way to stay connected within the fellowship which is paramount to us staying sober! Meetings aren’t a chore for us.
4. Usually your normie friend will think about what you said and then go back to the more astounding fact that you don’t drink at all. That’s when they will ask the fourth most frequently asked normie question which is: “Do you ever miss it?”
No, we have something so much more than drugs and alcohol today. We love our lives so why would we miss using and drinking?
5. Then they get all deep on us and ask a question that’s not easy to explain at all- “Do you ever having cravings to use?”
Do we think about using drugs and alcohol sometimes? Sure. But the thoughts are usually funny as hell because we see them for what they are, ridiculous. As for cravings to use? If we are working a strong spiritual program that consists of spiritual principles we don’t crave drugs and we aren’t “triggered” by the sight of alcohol or drugs. We are free from the chains of addiction and alcoholism. We are free human beings neither alcohol nor drugs dictate our thoughts and actions.
6. You have now told your “normie” friend that you are free from alcohol and drugs and that the obsession has been removed. So you can guess the sixth most frequently asked “normie” question after you say that- “So aren’t you cured?”
The answer is we are never cured. We can recover though. What we have is a daily reprieve based on our spiritual condition. What we do today doesn’t keep us sober tomorrow. We have to actively enlarge upon our spiritual life in order to stay sober. Once we are recovered we maintain but we are never no longer alcoholic or addicts. What’s that expression? You cannot turn a pickle back into a cucumber. Silly but it is true and it applies to us.
7. I have gotten number 7 quite a lot. “Do you care if I drink in front of you?” or “Do you care if I have a beer?”
The answer is no. I don’t mind and I don’t care. You should enjoy yourself and I can’t explain to you why it doesn’t bother me because that would take hours but it doesn’t, so go for it. For those of us working spiritual programs we go to places where there is alcohol and may even have friends who drink and smoke pot occasionally, it really is, believe it or not, no big deal to us anymore. (As long as we are spiritually fit)
8. “So, you’re telling me you believe in God?”
The answer to this is unique to each individual who is now sober and in recovery. We all have personal relationships with a higher power that is specific to us. So it really depends on who you ask but in more general terms, yes we believe in a higher power or something bigger than ourselves that is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. (That is of course, all if we are working a strong spiritual program)
9. Many of us had to learn the answer to this question ourselves so we understand this normie question-“Your problem was cocaine so why can’t you have a beer?”
We don’t differentiate between substances; it is all the same to us. Also when we begin working a program we recognize that our problem wasn’t really the coke or even the beer, it was ourselves. So whatever we put into our bodies is going to have the same affects because the problem is us, not the substance.
10. “You look great and so happy. Whatever you are doing keep doing it. What are you doing?”
Living life. Happy, joyous and free.
If you or someone you know needs treatment for Alcohol and/or Drug Addiction please call us at 800-951-6135 or visit us online at www.palmpartners.com.