So, you’re clean. You’re sober. Life’s great. And then the pink cloud dissipates. What now? Well, that’s what working a program is all about – living a life beyond your wildest dreams because you no longer have those icky substances clouding your existence. I said “working a program” because it does take work, and, without action, your life can become almost as bad or just as bad as it was when you were in your active addiction. Here are 7 signs your life is unmanageable (even if you’re sober!).
#1. You still don’t pay your bills on time (or at all)
Like most of us, you probably have debt and a bad credit score to show for your addiction. It’s time to start making financial amends by being responsible and paying your bills on time, as well as handling any debt you have by setting up payment plans. Oh, and making money in legitimate ways is a must. Your life is unmanageable if you choose not to earn an honest living.
#2. You blame others
A surefire sign your life is unmanageable (even if you’re sober) is that you refuse to take responsibility for your actions and for the state of affairs that your life is currently in. It’s always someone else’s fault, right? Well, this is no way to live – it just leads to discontent (see #3). Being accountable for your life, actions, what you have and what you don’t have is actually an empowering way to live and will certainly keep the irritability at bay – along with living in gratitude.
#3. You’re moody
You might not notice it but others around you sure do. Maybe people don’t seem to want to be around you as much or maybe they’ve jokingly commented on your moodiness. If you’re feeling restless, irritable, and discontent, it’s time to step up your spiritual game. What’s the point of being sober if you’re just gonna be miserable?
#4. You spend all your free time playing Xbox or Netflixing
A “life beyond your wildest dreams” has turned into a pretty boring existence. You might be sober but, boy your life has gotten pretty stale. I mean, it’s okay to unwind after a day’s work but, if your world has become just as small as it did when you were drinking and drugging, that’s one of the signs that your life is unmanageable, even if you’re sober now.
#5. You refuse to do an amends to your parents
Generally speaking, we’ve all hurt our parents while in our active addiction and for that, they deserve an effort on our part to make things right. Even if you didn’t steal from them, it’s probably safe to say that you held them emotionally hostage when you were out there using.
#6. You eat your feelings
There’s no judgment here, believe me, I can be an emotional eater at times. But, if you find that you’re acting out – such as eating even when you’re not hungry – it’s a sign that you’re trying to avoid feeling your feelings. This can be dangerous territory because you’re using something other than your tools in order to deal with (read: escape) reality and this looks a lot like addiction.
#7. You’re in a codependent relationship
You still haven’t gotten the hang of how to have a healthy relationship. A lot of people with a history of substance abuse and addiction also struggle with being codependent – with their intimate partners as well as with their friends and family members. There are support groups that can help, as well as talking to a therapist. Most of all, being aware that you’re in a codependent relationship is the first step. Do you constantly put others feelings before your own? Do you feel resentful when you think others aren’t living up to your expectations? These are a couple of things to consider.
If you or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse or addiction, please call toll-free 1-800-951-6135.