15 Things You Should Never Say to an Addict/Alcoholic in Recovery

me, when people say one of these 15 things to me
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This list is pretty self-explanatory. These are 15 things you should never say to an addict/alcoholic in recovery. Just don’t.

#1. “What made you start using drugs?”

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Really? Are you playing therapist? For some recovering alcoholics and addicts, this can be a very personal question. We may have experienced trauma and turned to drugs and alcohol to self-medicate. Sometimes, we really don’t know why. We just felt like it. Doubtful that any normie would understand that, though.

#2. “Weed isn’t a drug.”

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Um, actually it is. People often say, “well, it’s natural; from the earth.” So is cocaine (the coca plant), beer (fermented barley and hops), vodka (potatoes), heroin (poppies)…you get the picture. Marijuana is in fact a mood- and mind-altering substance. It might be OK for you to smoke it but, I’ll just pass.

#3. “What’s the worst thing you did?”

Again, a pretty personal question. And why do you need to know? For gossip, I’m sure. If you’re not a recovering addict or alcoholic, you just wouldn’t understand what addiction can do to a person.

 #4. “One drink is okay.”

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You wouldn’t understand this but, it’s never just “one drink.” One drink leads to many, many more drinks and maybe even an eight ball of coke. So no, one drink is not okay. Definitely not.

#5. “What about your wedding?”

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What about my wedding? I don’t need alcohol to toast my marriage to make it legit. Fact.

#6. “Your life must be kind of boring now.”

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This couldn’t be further from the truth. My life is a billion times better and more fulfilling today.

#7. “You don’t look like an addict.”

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Gee, thanks? What does an addict even look like? I was your bank teller counting out thousands of dollars every day. Did you ever suspect that I was banging dope in the bathroom?

#8. “I’ve done drugs, too. It’s about will power and self-control.”

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I’m just going to go with “yes, you are right. That is exactly the cure to addiction…will-power.” I can’t.

#9. “What do you do for fun?”

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I know it’s hard to imagine but, there are myriad of things to do for fun that don’t revolve around alcohol and other drugs. In fact, sober parties are wayyyy more fun. How about this: go to one of your normie parties and don’t drink. See how much fun it is. Spoiler alert: it’s not fun.

#10. “You’re addicted to meetings instead.”

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Something like that. It’s okay to be jealous. There’s no support group for normies to go to and simply share where they’re at. I mean, there’s always therapy.

#11. “Were you homeless?”

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*Gasp*

#12. “Did you smoke crack?”

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Why do you ask? So you can judge? In my experience, people (read: normies) want to know all the sordid details of our drug use for nothing more than to gossip or pass judgment. And, they always think that certain drugs are worse than others. Really, it boils down to this: drugs are bad, mmmkay?

#13. “I’m such an alcoholic.”

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People often misuse this term and over-exaggerate their drinking patterns. Maybe you’re a heavy drinker, or even a problem-drinker. But, if you still find alcohol “fun” and can stop at any time, then you are not – I repeat – not an alcoholic. Please stop.

#14. “You must be a Jesus freak.”

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My program of recovery involves a 12 step fellowship. It’s not a religious sect.

#15. “You ever do jail or prison time?”

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Yep, killed a man once. Took a machete and chopped off his head.

If you or someone you love is struggling with substance abuse, please call toll-free 1-800-951-6135.